Dame Edna My Gorgeous Life

The grand dame of world theatre, Dame Edna Everage, has been forced out of retirement by the demands of her adoring “Precious Possums”, announcing a surprise tour of Australia in September & October.

In a letter to her fans, Dame Edna apologised for upsetting them when she announced her retirement from public life, blaming her manager, “failed actor and attention seeker” Barry Humphries.

“One of the reasons I am adored pretty much worldwide is that I’ve always told you the truth; mostly the truth about yourselves, and even sometimes about me,” Dame Edna said.

“However this is an apology. It’s an apology for once telling you a wicked fib: a porkie, a cruel deceitful lie. I told you I had retired. That was a few years ago and when my announcement got around the globe a lot of people ‘freaked out’, to employ a phrase I never use. Now I’m reborn, fit as a fiddle, and rid of the leech who tormented me for so long. So, Possums, please do come and say hello to me. It would be lovely to see your faces again.”

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